Embracing the Orange

Maintaining healthy boundaries within myself becomes an issue when I have alone time. I start to judge myself and not give myself any space to live an organic day. I keep scheduling workouts and lessons to deliver. I cannot just let myself be and do what unfolds naturally. I find myself in this odd space of not knowing how to give myself a break. I find the judgment of keeping up with some societal norm running my psyche and my day. Of course, if I remember all of my tools from my yoga practice and years of therapy I know that I am being too black and white and not allowing myself to live in the gray area. Though, I prefer to think of it as yellow, red, and orange. I need to find more orange in the way I think of myself and about myself. When I find myself quick to judgment it is because I am losing sight of what is truly important. This is about boundaries as well as staying in the orange. The boundaries and expectations I set for myself are sometimes unrealistic, just to be unrealistic. I am a superman. I know that. I can do many things superbly. I am brilliant and multi talented. What I am not, is flexible with myself. I set goals and targets so high and so far just to prove I can hit them. Prove it to who? This is a clear demonstration of needing to work on my boundaries with myself. Being able to inhabit healthier boundaries with myself will enable me to maintain healthier boundaries with the entire world around me. Living in the purple, green, gray, or orange will help me to stay neutral and in a space to listen, hear, learn, and reflect. To be sure, I am proud of myself for catching this pattern at work late last night when I opted for a soft practice before bed instead of a vigorous and strenuous practice. What matters is the practice, not the force behind it. I am still getting myself underneath that concept. The more I catch myself, the better I become at embracing orange.